


Baking with Alastor

by What_Zit_Tooya



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor is straightforward and blunt sometimes, Baking, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Kinda, a little bit of my own interpretation of Al's mom, apple pies, author doesn't know to bake, baby's first fic, certainly not me!, charlie being a good friend, i want cat alastor, made for fun 'cause im bored, might add more tags later who knows, reader doesn't know how to bake, reader is female, this will be bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23667868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_Zit_Tooya/pseuds/What_Zit_Tooya
Summary: The title says it all.This is a very short fic but I might change it into a full on series. Eh, who knows.
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader
Comments: 24
Kudos: 118





	1. Did You Say...Apple Pie?

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic here on ao3 so m'kinda nervous. Actually, this is my first fic EVER so this will probably be bad... ,-.-. But then again, this will just be for fun. I doubt that this fic will get a lot of attention. •–•
> 
> Also, did I mention that I don't really know how to bake? Yeah, um...You have the option to abort, lads. I'll just be depending on the internet for guidance.
> 
> This beginning note is already a joke. This fic will prolly be a joke as well. Not to mention that this isn't beta'd so...
> 
> Have a nice day, peasants. Imma go feed my fish.

You sat there on the hotel's couch, reading a magazine about…anything really. You just found it on one of the tables and thought that the sentient monster truck cover looked pretty cool. As of now, you're kind of enjoying reading it actually. Sure, there were naked demons and pregnancy testers here and there, but overall, it was fun reading something besides Alastor's various books of black magic that he's been  _ insistently _ shoving down your throat lately and--oh, speak of devil. Here he comes now.

"What are you reading, dear?" The Radio Demon said as he entered the room, eyeing the magazine in your hands. Soon, static followed behind as well, but you paid it no mind since you kinda got used to the constant sound whenever he's near.

"A magazine." You said bluntly without taking your eyes off of the reading material. You finished the section about Lilith's brand new album which had various covers of songs such as  _ "Poor Unfortunate Souls"  _ and decided to flip the page, landing on an apple pie recipe section.

"Magazine? How about reading those books I gave you? If I recall correctly... _ which I always do _ ...You haven't really finished reading those!" He suggested while placing his hands on his hips. Sometimes he really reminds you of a mom...but then again, he might've got that trait from his actual mother.

Still not giving him a glance, you sighed. "Al, I can't just read all of those books throughout the whole week and  _ not _ feel tired of it. I'm just taking a break from the voodoo magic, that's all. Don't worry, I'll continue learning it tomorrow."

He sighed in slight disappointment, but not in annoyance. No, he can never be annoyed at you. "Well, alright. I guess we can dominate the world some over time…"

You mindlessly hummed at that and continued reading. Another wave of silence hit the both of you as he just stood there, expecting something. Through your peripherals, you can see him staring at you in a rather  _ intense _ manner, the red gleam of his eyes seemingly burned a whole through your soul. You loved him, you really do, but he really should work more on his "staring problem"...It really freaks everyone out, maybe even you sometimes.

Having enough of his shenanigans, you succumbed to him and lowered the magazine in your hands. " _ Sigh... _ Care to join--"

Beaming, he shadow-teleported his way to the couch and sat beside you, not even waiting for you to finish your sentence.

"...me…" Well at  _ least  _ he's working on his permission problem. Though you know that it's just a work in progress.

You shook your head in playful apathy and continued to read, ignoring the way he scooted closer to you while placing a hand over your shoulder. However, you didn't touch him back since he might recoil his advances. Your relationship with Alastor was still fresh for you to be touching him..but that day will come, you just had to wait.

As the overlord eyed the magazine in your hands, he bends his body to properly snoop on the reading material like a curious yet annoying cat.

Spotting the recipe page, he smiled widely. "Apple pie? Why, my mother used to bake that for me when I was a wee lad!"

_ That _ caught your attention since you always adored listening to the stories he would tell you about his mother. The tales were always so sweet and engaging. Mood changing in an instant, you turned your head towards him while interest shined in your eyes. 

"Really? That sounds wonderful! How was it?"

As if he got what he wanted (which is your general attention and interest), he fixed his bowtie and felt pride from his mother's cooking. "Scrumptious, dear! The apples are tart and crispy while the outside balanced out the syrupy taste of the filling! Everything about it was just absolutely divine and I would kill just to taste one more slice!"

Your grin widened from his reaction. "Huh, must be nice to taste one…"

He furrowed his brows. "Why? Haven't you baked one before?"

Blushing slightly, you buried your face into the magazine. "Yeah...Um I…."

"...You don't know how to bake, do you?" He called you out with a sigh, taking great pleasure from your embarrassed expression.

You nodded wordlessly in slight shame as he chuckled at you. Well it  _ does _ make sense because (for some absurd reason) if you touch anything kitchen-related, it would either burst into flames or suddenly break by some unknown force. At first, he thought that you were cursed by some pyromaniac witch but he guessed it's just because of your horrid culinary skills. Shaking his head, he brought a finger to your chin and made you stare at him.

"Worry not, darling!  _ I _ can teach you! I do know a thing or two with baking and I will certainly be more than glad to teach you how to bake an apple pie!"

You looked up at him with a grin. "Really? You'll do that for me?"

The red cladded demon made a shocked noise. "But of course! Why wouldn't I? I absolutely adore you and I would rip someone's intestines and turn it into a skipping rope if I had to! Baking is such a trivial task so I'm certain that you can learn it in a jiffy!" He declared to you while pinching your cheek.

Giggling at him, you placed the magazine down. " _ Fine _ . I guess a little bit of baking wouldn't hurt..."

Alastor smiled widely and stood up from his seat. "Great! I'll just prepare the kitchen so that it can be suitable for the both of us when it's baking time! You can go to Charlie and ask her if we could borrow one of her father's succulent apples. Those fruits are just  _ perfect _ for making apple pie!"

Giving him a nod as a response, he once again pinched your cheek and left the room to prepare the kitchen before giving you one last giddy look. You signed and looked at the magazine.

"Guess I can read you later... _ if _ there will be a later…" You mumbled to the magazine and walked out of the room. You  _ really _ doubted that you could learn how to bake within a day, it can even take weeks for you to learn a new recipe! He was just sugar coating his words so that you would comply... _ and it worked _ .

With a soft hum, you walked through the red hallways of the hotel to search for the blonde. Fortunately for you, her room was very much accessible since it was on a very low floor. 

Noticing that the hotel was pretty much silent, you shrugged. Everyone was doing their own thing so it's to be expected for them to be busy. Niffty's dusting out the dust bunnies and aged cobwebs in the basement. Husk is passed out in his bar--well  _ front desk _ but he rarely uses it for hotel related purposes anyways. Angel is probably snorting his drugs in his room and Vaggie is supposedly "scolding" (more like  _ strangling _ ) said spider. You remembered that time when you came to the hotel in hopes for rehabilitation, but as expected, you thought that maybe being in Hell isn't  _ that _ bad...Especially when a certain smiling prick is kind of holding you back from leaving. You cared deeply for all of the hazbin gang and you wouldn't have come a long way without them. 

You finally reached her room with an accomplished exhale. You gave the door three knocks and waited for her to open the door. Hearing a loud  _ "coming!" _ and numerous thuds from inside of the room, the door opened to reveal the princess that was wearing bunny themed pajamas. Heh, cute.

"Hey, Charlie. Sorry for disturbing you."

She gave you a dismissive wave of her hand. "Oh nonono! You didn't disturb anything at all. I was just arranging papers and files from one of my cabinets. Besides, I think that a little distraction from looking at papers is kinda good for me. I might even swap faces with the ink if I'm not careful!" She joked to you in an exaggerated manner which caused you to giggle a bit.

"So! Why did you come here? Is the TV remote missing again or do you need some extra glitter pouches?" The Magne asked politely, making you remember that time when she came back to the hotel carrying two large boxes of glitter pouches for the promotional posters that she made. Just thinking about the glitter particles going inside your system made your nose itchy…

"A-Ah not really! Alastor is kinda asking you if we could borrow some of the extra apples that your father sent to you yesterday...If that's okay for you?"

Charlie clasped her hands. "I would  _ love _ to! Dad kinda went overboard with the amount of apples that he gave me. And I couldn't possibly eat all of those apples before they spoil!...Can I ask why though? Just curious."

You laughed a little. "Oh, um...Al is kinda going to teach me how to bake. Specifically, apple pie. Since, you know, I don't really...know how to...uh, bake…" You explained to herself awkwardly, a sudden sense of embarrassment affecting your nerves a bit.

However, she didn't laugh at your confession and blatantly ignored it. Beaming from the mention of apple pie, she grinned. "Apple pie? I  _ love _ apple pie! They're absolutely delicious! Can you give me a slice when you guys are done baking?"

You scratched the back of your head, watching her go around her room to look for the many baskets of apples. "Well...I wouldn't really know if it will be good…"

"Oh don't be silly! Have faith in yourself! I'm sure that it'll turn out good,  _ especially _ with Alastor's guide. I heard that he's really good at cooking and baking stuff! Like, I normally don't eat jambalaya but I really couldn't deny that the one he made before was really tasty! So, don't let me miss out on that juicy apple pie, okay?" The blonde asked you loudly while rummaging inside another room.

You smiled at her, appreciating her words of encouragement. "Fine. Just don't blame me if you ever get food poisoned!"

The princess giggled at that and came back to you with a basket full of fresh red apples. "Here, take all of these. If you don't know, dad actually went on a business trip from the human world and brought as many Overworld apples as he can bring back to Hell. So technically, these are very exotic. Try not wasting them, okay?"

"Wow, Charlie...This is too much. Thank you…" You thanked her gratefully, taking the basket from her hands. It wasn't heavy, but it was enough for you to underestimate the weight.

"Aww...No need to thank me for something so small! That's what friends are for, right?"

_ 'God, she's so sweet...She really doesn't deserve to be here…' _

Placing the basket on your side, you used your free hand to pull her into a hug. She gladly accepted it with a smile.

"Yeah...that's what friends are for."

She beamed in joy from your response. "I'm happy to be a help! Well, I better get back to my task. The files won't arrange themselves!"

You nodded at the Magne and bid her farewell. Continuing your way to the kitchen, you heard the faintest whisper of  _ "wish you the best of luck" _ . You quickly turned around and saw that the door was already closed. Sighing, you gave it one last look.

"Thanks…"

Proceeding your journey towards the kitchen, you walked through the hallway, but immediately got halted when a pink blob nibbled your feet. You looked down and saw the ever so cute Fat Nuggets that was looking up at you (but mostly at the food) with beady eyes.

"Oh! Hey there, buddy! Want an apple?" 

The pig oinked in response, probably agreeing to your question. Chuckling slightly, you grabbed an apple and handed it to the little cinnamon bun. It took it with its mouth happily as they let out an oink of gratefulness.

Thinking that it was done, you continued your walking when you saw the pig trailing behind you, seemingly following you like a lost puppy.

"Sorry, Fat Nuggies...You can't come with me. Alastor might change his mind with the apple pie and turn the menu into bacon instead! Just go back to your daddy long legs. He's probably looking all over the hotel for you..."

The pig seemed to have understood what you said and gave out an oink of understanding. Giving you one last snout-kiss, he crawled his way towards his owner's room with an apple in his mouth, nibbling it slowly. 

You watched the pig disappear into the long hallway with a sigh. Finally continuing your way towards the kitchen, you swallowed a huge lump in your throat.

"Hope this baking lesson turns out well…"


	2. Let's Prepare First, Yeah?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this took a little longer than expected. I think writer's block hit me HARD and it made me lose the energy to pick up my pencil so that I can just write the damn script. Also, another sorry for making the chapter shorter than the first one. I just had to cut it off since the next chapter is dedicated for the baking part. The next chapter will definitely be longer so pls don't turn me into toilet paper. I still have kids to feed! And when I say kids, I meant me cause I have no kids. I only got my dogs and fishes.
> 
> Another also, I'm really considering making this into a full on series about "(blank) with Alastor". Just a collection of doing stuff with our deer boy. Maybe even add angst chapters, I dunno. What do you guys think? I personally enjoyed writing this chapter despite the writer's block so it's a possible option *shrugs*
> 
> Anyhoo, hope ya enjoy. As always, not beta'd so good luck.

Man, why are you so god damn nervous?

_'It's just a baking lesson. A BAKING lesson, me. Completely harmless...Well not "completely" harmless since Alastor is associated but STILL. Just please calm down. It'll be greatly appreciated…'_

Finally arriving at Hell's gate-- I mean, the _kitchen_ , you decided that it's probably now or never. Mentally steeling yourself, you tried to use your freehand to reach the golden door knob when you suddenly heard a loud--

**_KA-BOOM!_ **

"...Wh-What the _hell_ is he doing there!?"

Without warning, a harsh wisp of wind suddenly escaped the door, making you back up from your spot. A black light then flashed from beneath the entrance as well as the distinct scent of iron seeped out of the wooden entryway, making your nose wrinkle slightly. After that, you then heard a massive missile launch inside the room while the familiar Alastor laugh echoed in the kitchen. The demon was constantly cackling like a madman inside the cooking area and it's really making you question if this is really your boyfriend or if this is just a Disney villain reject. What kind of "preparing" is he actually doing!?

You furrowed your brows and gulped loudy. Instead of opening the door yourself, you just brought your fist towards the surface of it cautiously. Giving the door a few quick knocks, you steeled when all the sounds suddenly silenced as if there was a giant pin-drop. 

Inhaling a gulp of air, you tried to flush your anxieties down the toilet and just called for your partner. "...Alastor? You in there, hon?

_"Coming, dear!"_ He answered through the door while loud rummaging can be heard from the other side, as well as a few clinks of metal pots and pans. Deciding to patiently wait for your demon, you shifted on your spot while trying to adjust your look to appear more presentable since you just...really liked it when he compliments you. Fake coughing so that you could try to hide the growing blush, you buried the gushy wushy thoughts. _Heating pheromones, it's not your time to shine today..._

After a few seconds of waiting for the demon, the large door swung open to reveal the main man himself (a _man_ that's wearing a hand knitted pink apron that reads _"dark humor is like food..._ **_no one gets it_** _",_ but he's still your man nonetheless). 

"Glad you could make it, sweetheart! Dashing as usual, I see!" The bastard commented with a wink even if you just left him for a couple of minutes. Smooth, but cruel. This is practically illegal.

Coughing once again to hide the rushing heat from your face, you huffed at him. "Yeaaahh...uh, so what were you doing in…"

You were going to take a peek behind the overlord to see what the hell just happened to the poor kitchen but then he suddenly blocked your path by bending his body in a ridiculous angle to stop you from looking. You huffed at him and tried to peek through the other direction, but of course, he bends his body again to block you once more. Knitting your brows at the silent blocker, you ducked to see from below but his shadow blocked you as well. Curses!

Waving an index finger at you, Alastor tsked like a disappointed parent. "Nononono! You're not supposed to look yet, darling!"

"Oh? And why is that?" Raising a brow, you questioned your partner while his shadow politely took the basket of apples from your hands. Despite the dark entity's treachery, you thanked the shadow with a lovely pat on its cold head. It responded with a grateful purr and nuzzled its way to your hand, loving the affection from its second master. Then out of nowhere, you heard the overlord _growl_ which caused his shadow to whimper, leaving your warmth abruptly. However, you didn't give your partner the affection that he wanted because of sick revenge. _Ha, come thirsting for me now, sucker._

Now it was _his_ time to cough while Alastor readjusted his vest to squint at his slithering counterpart. How dare the shadow steal his partner's attention?! He treated that entity like his own child! Tsk, he may have to talk to the little traitor about boundaries and possessions…

Finishing his "readjustments", he ( _l_ _iterally)_ spun his head towards you. "It's a surprise, dear! No peeking until I say so!" 

"A surprise?" You asked with a little cross of your arms.

He responded with a giddy "Mhm!" and quickly covered your eyes with his slender fingers while using the other to take your hand, leading you into the kitchen. His fingers felt cold against your warm skin...but you didn't mind it! It felt kind of...nice, in a way. He didn't touch you often but it's okay because it makes _this_ moment special, appreciated. Hell, he could've just summoned a blindfold and avoided the touching part! However, he _didn't._ Both of you liked the feeling, you guys are just too much of a dork to admit it.

Walking side by side, the two of you reached the center of the room. Alastor smiled widely to himself as he tightened his grip on your arm, secretly liking it. Again, he just didn't want to admit it. (Maybe) He _will,_ just not right now.

"On the count of three, I'm going to let you see, alright?"

You nodded at your partner and swallowed a huge lump in your throat. You didn't really know _why_ you were so gosh darn nervous. Was it from the way he worded his command? Or was it because of your fear of messing up when it's baking time? Maybe it's really just you... _Or_ perhaps it's because you're afraid that he transformed the kitchen into a flesh room with actual blinking eyeballs!

...Okay, yeah it's just you. Al wouldn't do that. He only does that on Wednesdays...

You nervously steeled yourself. "O-Okay. On the count of thre--"

_"Three!"_

"Alastor! That's not...how it...works... _w-woah…"_ Your words were suddenly cut off when the demon took their hands off of your eyes, letting you see the glow up of the old kitchen.

First things first, the room doubled _significantly_ in size. Instead of the old tiled floor, the ground was made of actual smooth marble. Like geez, you can even skate on the floor wearing FLIP FLOPS if you wanted to! The cooking utensils also increased in size _and_ quality! Things like spatulas, whisks and knives of all variations were either hung on the painted walls or neatly kept inside the numerous cupboards and cabinets. Meanwhile, the oven, fridge, dishwasher, stove and even the damn _toaster_ looked absolutely beautiful and new. Everything was so damn clean and sparkly that it would definitely make Niffty lose her marbles! If Lilith's ass and Niffty's strange obsession with cleaning had a love child, it would probably be this room because it's just so _pretty_!

Snapping you out of your fascinated staring, Alastor coughed and tilted his head at you.

"Do you like it, doll? I've been planning on doing this once I've first set foot in this kitchen but I didn't really see the reason to do it...Well, until _you_ came along...So! What do you think of the new improvements? Is it too much? Or does it need a bit more knives?" Waving his hand towards the knife holder, he stared at you expectantly like how a child would show their parents their new drawing. It was a little intense but still kind of cute.

You put your hands up in the arms. _"Too much!?_ Al, this is fucking insane! H-How can you even do this!? Did you use a voodoo spell? Maybe another blood sacrifice? Or are you just making me hallucinate to make this whole thing appear real because this is just ABSOLUTELY unbelievable!" You gushed excitedly as you walked towards the glistening stove, swiping your finger on its surface to hear a small squeak. Damn, you can even see your own reflection!

Alastor chuckled from your reaction, amused. "Darling, you'll know how transformation spells work if you actually pick up the numerous books that I gave you. But enough praising and chit-chat! Let's go down to business before you manage to explode the stove!" He ushered you playfully, which you responded with a faked offended huff since he's _technically_ true. Placing his hands underneath your armpits, he picked you up as if you were but a mere child and marched towards the polished counter, the scene making both of you chuckle a little.

Through your peripherals, you can spot the many Alastor shadows preparing the counter to ther master's liking. On the left, the one you recognized as the clone that took the apples away from you placed the basket on the flat surface of the counter, sending you a happy grin. You simply responded with a smile of your own and a silent wave.

Finally putting you down on the floor, he suddenly gave you a once-over with a big squint of his red eyes.

You cocked a brow, concerned of what he's thinking. "...What? Is there something wrong?"

"Oh nonono! I just really feel like there's something missing, that's all…" Humming in contemplation for about two seconds, an old light bulb sound effect suddenly played in the background.

"Ah yes! Your attire! How could I forget?" Alastor said with a laugh while placing a hand on his head. Snapping his fingers, a blue apron that says _"This snack is to_ **_die_ ** _for!"_ appeared out of nowhere as cute little chef's hats came out of the abyss to physically form on your heads. You blushed from the apron trick and playfully glared at him. He then laughed at you as a flirty whistle sound effect accompanied him, making you blush even harder.

"You're so cruel, Al." You said with a deadpanned facepalm.

The overlord shook his head, staring at your form gleefully. "Compliments will get you nowhere, dear. Now quit stalling for time! Come on, the stage is already set…"

Alastor snapped his fingers, causing the doors to be locked shut. You furrowed your brows at him in confusion, your anxieties swelling up with a vengeance.

After that little trick, he grabbed a pink apple from the basket. Smiling wickedly, he rolled the fruit on his fingers while placing a hand on his hip, the static picking up in frequency.

"...Let's just start the show, shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves white flag*
> 
> I TRIED making this chapter good so I'm really sorry. It's really the best that I could come up with, I promise :,)


	3. Another One Bites the Crust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one will eat the pie crust yet. I just ran out of title ideas for a chapter that revolves around pie crust. Whoops, sorry.
> 
> Here, have this chapter all about making pie crust with a cannibal demon. I tried my best. ,·-·,
> 
> Not beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

"First things first, let's wash our hands! If my mother was here with us and saw us disobeying her number one rule in baking, she would've smacked my hands until they were bloody red! Well, not _literally_. No, she was too much of a sweetheart for that…" Alastor said as he ushered you towards the sink, temporarily taking off his gloves along the way.

"Wait, can't you just do the snappity thing so that we could just get that part over with?" You questioned the demon with a little snap of your own, attempting to mimic his trick. Grabbing the soap, the both of you rubbed your hands with the item until both of your skins were very foamy, it could even make a _cloud_ jealous from how bubbly your hands were.

The overlord hummed and tilted his head in fake contemplation. "Hmm...I _can_...but I _won't._ Sure, it's highly convenient for the both of us and a great time saver. However, it'll just take the fun out of it. I would very much prefer to experience something rather than using the easy route. No pain, no gain as they say!"

You nodded at what he said, noting the short wisdom talk. Turning on the sink, the two of you scrubbed and rinsed your hands with the flowing water.

"And besides!" He quickly added. "I can just use it as an excuse to spend more time with you!" Your partner said bluntly, not needing to look at your face since he already knows that you're already as red as a damn cherry. Smug asshole.

Scoffing to hide your embarrassed reaction (which failed pathetically), you finished rinsing your hands and took an offered towel from one of his shadows. "Al, we're already stuck in _Hell._ We have all the time in the world to spend some time with each other."

Also grabbing a towel for himself, Alastor grinned calmly while a sense of fondness washed over him. _"And yet it's never enough..."_

Before you could even react or comment on his little response, he quickly reverted back to his old self and grabbed your hand. "Come on, let's get all of that out of the way! It's time to make the crust!" He said giddily while dragging you back to the counter, a hint of warmth invading your chest.

"Now! Making pie crust is relatively simple if done _correctly_ so I believe that burning yourself is not a probability here! _Well_ , _not in my watch at least…"_ Putting on his gloves ( _Wait, why did he even need to wash his hands if he was going to wear gloves? Sigh, another question to be added to his never ending mysteries…_ ), he then grabbed the needed ingredients.

Turning to you, he took out the ingredients with a literal snap of his hands and neck. "Today, we're using my mother's recipe so things such as having chilly butter and using pastry cutters will be ignored since it will not be needed here! Now while I measure some of the ingredients to my liking, I want you to cut two sticks of butter into little cubes. Just about _this_ small, okay?" He said as he made a measuring hand gesture with his fingers, staring at your form with a grin.

You answered your partner with a firm nod and a mumbled "mhm", processing the information that he had given you. Grabbing a sharp knife from the wooden knife holder, Alastor immediately stopped you by waving an index finger in front of you.

"Um, darling! I wouldn't use that knife if I were you. It's too... _sharp._ You might injure yourself or even cut off your own finger! By experience, it certainly didn't feel…"pleasant" if I were to word the feeling of it. Here, have this instead!" Alastor scolded you like a parent as he grabbed another knife that was less sharp than the last one, handing it out to you like a lollipop.

You scoffed. "Al, I'm an adult. I can use a knife just fine."

He returned the scoff. "Says the demon that managed to set a _fridge_ on fire. Now come on, we don't have all day! Chop-chop!" The overlord ushered (with a slipped in pun) while snapping his fingers, switching the sharp knife with the other one.

Sighing in defeat, you huffed and proceeded to cut the butter into small cubes. It took some time since the butter was kind of slippery, but you managed. You finished cutting the sticks of butter and pushed the remaining bits with your finger into a nearby bowl. You smiled in accomplishment and cleaned the sticky butter away from your fingers. Huh, this baking lesson isn't that har-- _Oop, don't jinx it, me. This is just step one so stop getting ahead of yourself. You'll get your victory laugh when you're done baking the pie._

Meanwhile, Alastor watched your form gleefully, adoring the way your eyes shined in accomplishment from cutting _butter._ It baffled him how you're able to find satisfaction from such a minimalistic task. It's just cutting _butter_ for pete's sake! And yet you still treat it as the same with discovering that fire exists! Now that he truly thinks about it, it's really making him wonder exactly _how_ an angel like you can fall down here. Sure, you've certainly done some sins here and there but it's **nothing** compared to his or to anyone's sins in this gruesome place. However, as selfish as the thought is, he couldn't help but be grateful from the fact that you were indeed destined to be here. If you were to ascend to the Land of the Marshmallow Lunatics, he would've spent his whole eternity in this hellhole without a lovely doll to accompany him. He really didn't like that idea. It was truly nightmare-inducing, more so than himself. He wanted to snuff the thought out until it can only be considered as a flickering ash, nothing more than a silly thought. But alas, his mind was as talkative as his own mouth. It's kind of funny, actually. For the first time in forever, he was annoying _himself_ and it definitely bugged him to no ends. This is a moment that he should note…

"Hey, Al!" You called which pulled him back from his semi self-reflection and cemented him back to reality.

Alastor adjusted his vest and answered back. _Truly a moment to note._ "Yes, dearest?"

"I'm done chopping the butter. Are these okay?" Letting him see the inside of the bowl, you watched him examine the contents with a small hum.

The overlord nodded happily as he clasped his slender hands. "More than okay! Now put the knife back. We won't be needing that for the crust part anymore! We'll just be using our bare hands for the next, next part!" 

Grabbing a large bowl from a shadow that sneaked a happy glance at you (which you responded with a hidden wink), your partner looked at you.

"To make the crust for a pie, you need to make the dough! I mean, you could buy pie dough from a store but my mother and I always preferred making the dough yourself! What I want you to do, dear, is to grab the already measured flour, salt and sugar. Pour it into this bowl and whisk it. Simple enough, yes?" 

You responded with a mere nod. Clasping his hands, he grinned widely and left you to do your own task once again. He appears to be examining the kitchen, looking rather pleased with the adjustments that he did to the room. That's fine with you. That just means that you could try doing this part alone, being independent and all that jazz.

You took out a bowl and poured the displayed ingredients, watching the contents come into contact with the surface of the bowl smoothly as the colors blended together in one pile of white powdery mush and...Well, nothing else to say, really. It's as simple as that. Now what's left was…

"The whisk…" You murmured quietly, looking for it yourself. Luckily, a shadow heard your mumble and appeared before you, willing to help you with your small problem. You smiled at the entity.

"Hey, do you know where the whisk is, lil' buddy?"

It nodded to your question and positioned its head upward. You furrowed your brows and followed its line of sight, causing you to spot the whisk. It was hanging up above the cupboard, out of reach. Who the hell even puts utensils seven feet from the ground?!

You sneaked a glance at the grinning suspect that was narrowing his eyes at the fridge. Well, he _did_ make the kitchen himself so it would make sense why he would put it up there considering his staggering height. But _still._ How are you gonna reach that damn whisk?

You were going to ask the shadow for help but then Alastor suddenly whistled, beckoning for the entity and gesturing towards the fridge. The shadow gave you an apology bow and slithered its way towards its master since he's _apparently_ the bigger priority.

The overlord then waved at you innocently, not knowing the predicament that you are currently in. You waved back and it made him hum, turning back to whatever he was doing (which was moving the refrigerator to the side, but since he's pretty much "unfit" to do it, he needs the help of his shadow clones). You didn't really want to ask him for help. When you said that you're gonna be independent, you're going to have to try and stick to that internal promise to yourself.

Grabbing a stool that was conveniently placed to your left, you placed it below the hanging whisk and stepped on it as a leverage. It wasn't wonky so you could easily let go of the fear of falling off the sturdy stool. You reached for the whisk with your hands, but to no avail. You then tried standing with your toes and it gave you the chance to touch it, but not quite gripping it. Stretching your arms as far as you could, you tried your damndest to get the cooking utensil. Seconds passed by and you finally reached the awaited treasure with an accomplished huff. You got the whisk and got out of the stool to now continue your task.

Oblivious to the shadow that elevated the stool, you started whisking the continents of the bowl vigorously, careful as to not let the powder from spilling out of the edge. You watched the ingredients mix together, spiraling together to form into a flour mixture. 

As you proceeded to mix the bowl, Alastor waltzed his way towards you to check on how you were doing.

"So! Sweetheart, what happened with the whisking? Have you managed to burn anything yet?"

You huffed at him. "For your information, Al. I'm doing quite fine actually. Oh and why are the ingredients placed in such high places? I kinda had a hard time with getting this damn whisk."

He patted your hair apologetically. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear. My mistake. I'll just make sure to change that some other time...But anyhoo, let's just proceed to the next step! And I assure you that this will be VERY fun because this time, we will be using our bare hands!" To further prove his point, he bent his fingers to a freakishly disturbing degree as it gave out a few cracks, causing you to shudder from the unsettling scene. Again, another thing that he should probably work on: Not freaking people out. And right now, he's not really doing so well in that department. 

"I want you to put the sliced butter inside the flour mixture and use your knuckles, fingers or thumbs to mix them together. The result should look like coarse meal and the squished butter should also be visible. This method wouldn't work if we were to use cold butter so that's why we used its warm counterpart instead!" Alastor explained while waving an index finger at you. Grabbing the flour mixture and butter, he combined them together.

"Oh, and here. I figured that you wouldn't want your hands to get all powdery and sticky so I conjured up a neat little trick for you." Snapping his fingers, he summoned disposable cooking gloves on the counter. Unexpectedly, the gloves suddenly became sentient as the two objects stood on their two fingers. The gloves gestured towards you, jumping to presumably reach your hands.

"Give them your hands, dear. They want to fulfill their duty and it is to serve your hands."

"Al, this is fucking weird." You said even if you still proceeded to slowly offer your hands. For some absurd reason, this is by far the weirdest thing that he has done all day. Just... _why_ does he have to make the gloves sentient!?

Giving up your hands, the gloves seemed to have cheered and put themselves inside of you (now the mere thought of that just made you question your life's downhill path). They? It? started adjusting their bodies to properly fit your hand. After a few seconds of staring at the odd scene, you looked at your gloved hands, feeling if they were still alive.

"Alastor. What the fuck? Why did you have to make the gloves _sentient!?_ "

He gave you a nonchalant shrug. "Because I'm a well known 'show off'. Now enough playing around! Start mixing that flour!"

You obliged hesitantly and started squishing the mixture together with a gulp. "I...I really don't know what to feel about using these sentient gloves while I'm mixing this flour. I feel really bad."

Shaking his head with a short laugh from your little inner crisis, he patted your shoulder. "Oh, don't worry, doll. You gave them the opportunity to fulfil their purpose in their two minute lifespan. They're probably happy in glove heaven now..."

You snapped your head towards him. "Wait, they're _dead!?"_ You exclaimed in panic, suddenly realizing that you're literally wearing the corpses of the sentient gloves.

He hummed as he tilted his head. "I mean... _technically,_ yes. After they put themselves into your hand, their main purpose immediately vanished out of their artificial soul. And with that, their short life."

A sudden heavy feeling of dread and guilt laid on your shoulders, somehow feeling like you've killed someone, inanimate object or not. 

"Damnit, that just made it worse…" You mumbled sadly while also flattening the butter into the flour with your gloves, feeling a little bit of sympathy for the fallen brothers.

Alastor only gave you more shoulder pats to try and cheer you up from the sad moment, noting that you could get too attached to things pretty quickly. As you continued to mix the squashed yellow blocks into the white powder with ease, you used your knuckles to punch them in. Hearing that Alastor clicked his tongue, he gave your shoulder a quiet squeeze.

"That's enough, my sweet. Let's proceed to the next step." He ushered as he summoned a bowl of full-fat sour cream. Grabbing a fork from the dark depths of the abyss, he then started mixing the bowl of sour cream.

You gulped as you sadly took off the gloves. "Please don't tell me that _that's_ sentient too, Al."

He shook his head, grabbing the gloves to put them back into the abyss. "After that reaction? Of course not. No need to brood for something that's already done. Come on, let's proceed to mix the flour mixture with the sour cream. After we're done with combining all of those, we just need to make it into a disc and refrigerate. When we're done with _that_ , we can have our break." The demon assued with a grin as he handed the bowl and fork towards you. Moving on from the death of the gloves, you took the offered items.

"Alright...so, how much sour cream do I add here?"

"Half a cup will do." Alastor said with a slight tilt of his neck. He then started leaning in on the counter sideways as he propped up his elbow to support his cheek, making his tall physique slide down and bend in a wacky posture. The mere scene made you give out an internal snicker from how goofy he looked. Sometimes he really reminded you of a clown rather than a radio host…

"And I'm guessing that I should mix it all together?"

"Mhm."

You mumbled out a concentrated "okay" and gave all your focus on using the fork to combine the two contents together, the cream beginning to make friends with the buttery mixture. For a few silent minutes, you worked your way to make the mere concoction form into a suitable dough for baking. 

Meanwhile, Alastor once again watched you do your task, but this time, you could feel the overwhelming stare. He just blinked at you, closing and opening his red eyes, presumably thinking of something strange again. However, you didn't comment on that even if you were a wee bit curious on what he's thinking about. You just wished that you could have the power of telepathy for a split second to know what's going on in his head. Just a brief glance, that's it. But alas, that's just a dream that you could only wish for since actually asking for his thoughts will only lead to either a blatant "nope" or just a straightforward yet vague answer. It will only be fruitless for you. 

After a few minutes of silent mixing, Alastor hummed and looked at the bowl, observing your work's appearance with a smile. "That's enough, deary. You can stop now. For the next part, I shall be the one to gather the dough into a ball. You've done enough so I think it's time for me to do this myself. Just watch…"

He took out his black gloves with a smirk. "...And _learn."_

You shrugged and obliged to his request. Leaning onto the counter with your elbows touching the smooth marble surface, you watched him take out the dough from the bowl. He used his long fingers to morph the buttery concoction into a ball, shaping it like a neat little play doh. The overlord then took out a knife from behind him (even though he doesn't even have any back pockets) as he sliced the dough into two, the concoction flattening softly from the added weight of the knife. Further massaging the dough, its appearance held no cracks. It was satisfying to look at due to the consistent smoothness of the surface. You looked at him with an impressed brow and he merely wagged his own brows like a little wave. You snickered at that and resumed watching him work out the dough.

Using the side of his fist and fingers, he flattened the dough into discs, eventually forming a thick round mush which was perfect for rolling out when it's done refrigerating.

"Sweetheart, can you please pass me the roll of plastic wrapper? I forgot to prepare it for this part. Grab it from the cabinet to your right. The one with the painted pink roses please." Alastor beckoned to you as you gave him a curt nod as a response.

Walking up to the cabinet, you opened the door and grabbed the plastic wrapper with a hum. You closed the cabinet and was about to leave when you heard mumbling from the other cabinet, the one with the blue roses. You paused and stared at the cabinet, narrowing your eyes. Reaching for its handle, you were about to see what was inside when suddenly--

"Darling! The wrapper! We wouldn't want the dough cracking, now would we?" The demon called loudly as he stared at you from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, o-okay!" You said as you quickly went back to your partner, giving the cabinet a glance of uncertainty.

Alastor clapped from the sight of you having the assigned item. Roughing up your hair with his elbow since he's hands were kind of messy, he thanked you and took the plastic wrapper from your hands.

"And then, we just have to put le muwah here on the dough like so..." He said as he grabbed a bag of flour and sprinkled it on the dough's surface. Taking out a neat role out of the plastic wrapper with his bare hands and tongue sticking out of his teeth, he tightly wrapped the dough with the plastic.

"And ta-dah! Nous avons terminé pour cette partie!" He said with a random French line (probably to show off _again_ ) as he held up the wrapped up dough as if it was some treasure. You didn't really understand what he said but you clapped anyways, giving him a proud thumbs up even though _you're_ the one who was supposed to be learning. But you still had fun and learned a few things so it's fine.

"What do we do with it?" You asked as you eyed the pastry dough.

Cleaning his hands in one quick swoop because _magic_ , he put on his gloves and grabbed the dough disc.

"We put it inside the refrigerator…" Tossing the dough into the giant fridge carelessly, he grinned at you.

"...And we wait for an hour!"

"And what do we do while we wait for an hour?"

He snapped his fingers and made the both of you sit on two summoned couches. Clasping his hands, he placed his right leg over the other as he stared at you for about a minute, wanting something to happen or wanting for _you_ to do something. When he realizes that you would just continue staring at him as well with a puzzled expression, he sighed and started the wanted conversation.

"So...lovely weather we're having today?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Al just wanted to chat with you. That's all he wanted. Also, I don't know if Al has gloves but I want to think that he does since he doesn't really like touching *shrugs*
> 
> Ending this chapter was a pain in the ass to write. Actually, writing is a pain in the ass in itself. But I love writing stories for you lovely sickos even if it's kinda trash so this is worth it ♪
> 
> Another also, I found out that Alastor can speak some French so…Thanks to google translate, here is the translation for the one French line: "We are done for this part!" I'm sorry if it's wrong, French speaking readers. I'm (obviously) not French lol.
> 
> If you wanna know the recipe that I based this chapter on then just search up "simply recipes sour cream pie crust". Hope this helps. Lmao Idk how to link.


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